UnOrdinary Ways To Get Over It
Hello, everybody, and welcome to another exciting episode of GT Radio, where we believe that the best way to understand each other and ourselves is through the media we care about. I'm one of your wonderful co hosts, Mark Cuiriz, and I am joined by Lara Taylor
Lara Taylor:Hey.
Marc Cuiriz:And Josué Cardona.
Josué Cardona:Hello.
Marc Cuiriz:Hey, guys. So I can already tell it's been a very chill week. Definitely not a whole lot of stressors going on.
Marc Cuiriz:Definitely not feeling like we're 40 or anything like that.
Josué Cardona:Can see it on our faces.
Lara Taylor:Yeah. I wish the I wish the listeners could see it on their faces. Mhmm.
Marc Cuiriz:Yeah. We're all very, very tired. But this week, since it's my turn, I wanted to talk about these 2 webtoons that I have been rereading because I started reading them a while ago, and then I I got caught up with them, and I kinda got sick and tired of waiting every single week for the the the next chapter, episode, whatever you call it. And so I took a break from Webtoons for a good long while, and I don't know why. But I decided to check back in, and then I saw that there was, like, you know, a huge bunch more stuff that was updated and uploaded and things like that. And then I when I was, like, going back to look at them, I was like, I don't remember any of this. So then I went back and started rereading everything. And I just think that's with the two stories that I have in mind, they each touch on this this idea of, like, moving on from from different things. And I thought, like, the way they tackled it, the way they addressed it is is pretty cool. So the two stories that I had in mind was Unordinary, which is a pretty popular webtoon. It's kinda up there with, like, the let's play webtoon that was going around. And then the other one was called is called Down to Earth, and that's by, a person named Pukki Senpai, and then Unordinary is by Uru Chan. But, yeah, I don't know. Have you guys read them, heard about these webtoons at all before I mentioned them?
Lara Taylor:No.
Josué Cardona:Not before. Not before you mentioned them, but I started reading both of them in in preparation.
Marc Cuiriz:Yeah.
Lara Taylor:Mhmm.
Marc Cuiriz:So, just kind of like context for the stories for Unordinary. Basically, it's a world where everybody has, like, these abilities, some sort of power, and the main character, you know, he's one of the few people that don't have any powers. And it's like you know, he's trying to navigate his world because it it's a world dominated by, like, the hierarchy and and strength.
Marc Cuiriz:It kinda rules above all. So since he's on the lowest, he's naturally very targeted, ridiculed, all that sort of stuff. But the story gets a lot deeper. There's a whole lot of stuff that happens, and I I don't wanna get too spoil-y with it, especially if, Josué, since you're reading it.
Josué Cardona:No. No. But get get spoilery if we if we need to. It's okay.
Marc Cuiriz:Yeah. I mean I I mean, I I will have to get a little spoilery, but, I mean, obviously, the the the webtoon is is not done. I don't think it's even close to being done. So there's still a whole lot more stuff to kind of unravel and go through and work through.
Josué Cardona:Like, I only I only read the first five.
Marc Cuiriz:Mhmm.
Josué Cardona:And so I don't know if that covers any of that. But in the prologue, he mentions, like, his father wrote a book, something like that. So I wonder if that has something to do with it.
Marc Cuiriz:Yeah. So the book definitely does. John has got some is is the main character. He's got some trauma, some some really bad trauma.
Lara Taylor:A main character with trauma?
Marc Cuiriz:I know. Right? It's a it's it's one of those things you you it's hard to believe. So, yeah, I guess we'll get a little spoiler y with it. I am you know, spoiler alert for anyone who hasn't read it and is kinda interested in reading it.
Marc Cuiriz:So John, he goes through high school, you know, acting like he doesn't have an ability, but in reality, he does.
Josué Cardona:I know.
Marc Cuiriz:However, he is labeled a late bloomer, and, when it
Lara Taylor:This sounds a lot like My Hero Academia to me.
Marc Cuiriz:A little bit. Yes. But here's the thing is that in My Hero Academia, you know, Midoriya, he doesn't have a power and then it's bestowed upon him.
Lara Taylor:Right. Right.
Marc Cuiriz:In this case, he's had it.
Lara Taylor:It secret.
Marc Cuiriz:Yeah. He's choosing to keep it secret, but he actually does have an ability. But because he's considered a late bloomer, they may have mentioned that late bloomers are destined to fail because they know what it's like to be at the bottom, and then they're given this power, and then they let it get to their heads. So, he he got into some trouble at his, like, his previous school, and so the authorities had to intervene. And part of the the readjustment that they call it is him being forced to relive everything, every bad thing that he did to every single person. And he did that for, like, every single day for 3 months in, like, a closed off room with nothing but this detective. And so naturally, he that's why he tries to hide his powers, but then, you know, things happen and he's forced to kind of reveal himself, and he falls back into those patterns of using his power to try to get the things that he wants. But his view of things is so twisted, And he's struggling because he's trying to prove that he's not a monster, that he's not a product of the system, when in reality, he is, and the system itself is inherently just messed up. And when people are actually trying to make changes, he doesn't believe it because he's like, where was that when I needed it? It wasn't there. So that's, like, a little bit about kind of like what he's going through of, like, that idea of, like, being forced to have to relive your trauma over and over again.
Josué Cardona:Mhmm.
Marc Cuiriz:And then he has to go through this journey of trying to move on, move past it and process through it and come to accept it for for his accept his actions for what they were and the consequences that they had while still trying to come to terms with his own ability and things like that.
Josué Cardona:So so when you say, like, getting over, what what exactly is he getting over or moving past?
Marc Cuiriz:So in his case, he feels like he's alone. Like, everybody turns on him. Everyone abandons him. Everyone is conspiring against him. And so he isolates himself, and that's where he dominates through his power, and his strength throughout the whole school. But for him, it took his best friends, to kind of use her own force to break through it and show him, like, you're not these things. Like, you can tell yourself these things all you want, but you're not that. And you think everyone's turned on you, but that's not the case. And, like, you know, she's trying to, like, help him see that, like, whatever thoughts he's having, she's trying to help him see that they're not that they're not real. They're not like, his feelings are there, but he's not what he's saying that he is. So he's not a monster. He's not this person this awful human being. Like, yes, he did bad things, and he has to accept those, but that doesn't mean that that's who he is.
Josué Cardona:I see. I just read a book called, it's it's about, it's a nonfiction book about Buddhism and psychology, and it's called Advice Not Given, A Guide to Getting Over Yourself. It almost sounds like he's got to get over her over himself.
Marc Cuiriz:Oh, a 100%. Yeah.
Josué Cardona:Yeah.
Marc Cuiriz:And so, like, you mentioned, like, in in the first type of chapters, he he talks that his dad wrote a book. That book was for was written for him as a way to kinda see, like, this is how a person uses their powers for for others for good to try to create change in in a positive way, which, you know, it does help him to a certain extent. But once he gets pushed past that point, then it all kinda goes out the window, and he kinda reverts back and starts redoing. You know, it's like that that trauma cycle where something happens, it retriggers it, and it's almost like he's re he's basically reliving and redoing the entire traumatic experience over again for him.
Lara Taylor:Interesting. It's this comes up a couple weeks after Yom Kippur, and our family is Jewish and celebrate Yom Kippur. Celebrate's a weird word because it is a holiday all about atoning and admitting the things you've done wrong and asking for forgiveness and understanding if others can't forgive you. And our rabbi had a comment a couple days before Yom Kippur. We went to services, and she was talking about so we say the things we do bad out loud on on Yom Kippur and we confess to them and we kind of put this out there to to let them go and be free from them for the year, and you're supposed to do this every year so you don't have to hold on to them for so long. But she had us also do a practice of saying the things we've done good during the year. And she said that was actually harder to do out loud for people, and usually is because, yeah, we beat ourselves up inside. Sometimes it's hard to say those horrible things we've done out loud, but, like, we're more likely to be, okay. We did this horrible thing. But a lot of people, it's hard to say, yeah. I did this really good thing because I don't wanna sound, like, stuck up or or really, I guess, arrogant. And so I think maybe he could use a little of that. Like, yeah, I did all these horrible things, but, like, I did I did maybe I did some good things too during this year, even a little thing. You know?
Marc Cuiriz:Yeah. And that's actually a really good point because that's kind of what his friend is trying to show him and trying to, you know, teach him. It's like, yeah. You might have done all these bad things, but you've also done all these good things, and you've you've helped me out, you know, when I was struggling with, you know, with with her issues and what was going on for her. So that's why she wants to make sure that she's there for him to show him, like, you're more than just your previous actions. You're more than your past, you know, and you don't need to hold on to that
Lara Taylor:Mhmm.
Marc Cuiriz:And and burden yourself with that. He can start letting that go. And, you know, this kinda gets more into, like, the more recent chapters, but, you know, you see his growth as a character, and how he's learning to kinda come to terms with that and learning to be comfortable with using his ability because he still carries that fear that if he uses his ability, he's going to let loose again. He's gonna kinda go back to it. He can't control himself. And, you know, as the story goes on, he kinda sees that, like, no. Like, I can be level headed. I can use it for good and use it to help others and and protect people and and things like that. But I think, like, I think with both of the stories that I've mentioned, like, the way they address it and the way they talk about it is, to me, it was meaningful because in most, like, movies or in shows, if someone's going through something, it usually takes, like, a brief moment of something happening or, like, someone, like, giving them a quick reality check, and then all of a sudden, it it it's almost as if they're over it. Like, they got through it. Okay. Whatever. Boom. We're good. I'm good now. But in this case, like, you know, you you see it being like a it's a slow process. It's, you know, it's something that you can have that wake up call, but the actual change to make it, that takes the like, that takes work, that takes effort, and that takes, you know, a deliberate like, that takes it's gonna take time for those changes to be permanent and for those around you to warm up to those changes or accept those changes, especially if, you know, let's say they were, you know, a bad bad person, and then they switch over to the good side.
Josué Cardona:Well, Give me an example of, like, when, like, people being resistant people around you being resistant to those, like, changes.
Marc Cuiriz:Like
Josué Cardona:Or, like, not accepting.
Marc Cuiriz:Like, in a different media?
Josué Cardona:No. No. No. I mean, even even in these stories, I like like
Marc Cuiriz:Oh, yeah. So so, like, when when John kind of, like, when once he finally, like, reveals his his power and he starts rising through the ranks in his school, everyone's just absolutely terrified of him. Like, people are just dude, they do everything they can to avoid him because if they so much as look at him wrong, it's a beatdown. You know, he he just beats the crap out of him. And so when he decides to start making these changes, obviously, the rest of the the school is still absolutely terrified of him. They're still scared that if they look or say something wrong, he's gonna go off on them. So, like, that's one of those things where even and even, like, the other main characters, like, when he tries to, like, talk to them and and work with them, they're screaming at him, yelling at him because they're like, yo, you you did all these horrible things. And then when we try to do something good, you do everything in your power to tear it down. Like, why are we just gonna openly accept you now that you've had this one little scuffle?
Josué Cardona:Okay. Okay. I see I see what you mean now. Yeah. That's like Yeah. You're trying to be a better person, but everybody is, like, mmmmm
Lara Taylor:they can't can't see that yet.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Marc Cuiriz:Yeah. Because either people because no one knows the full story of that person. You know? It might just be a couple people that understand, and they they're the ones that try to advocate or try to help you in, like, reintegrating into the the the society or the group as a whole. But that still takes time, and you see that the dynamic and and those tensions flare up as he's trying to better himself, which doesn't make it easy. And you see him at times kind of struggle with that of, like of of with that of, like, why do I even bother trying to keep doing this? And you see him having to, like, stop and take that minute to really think things through and say, you know what? Like, if I got it if I wanna do this right, then I, you know, I have to understand that, you know, they're going to be upset still. They're still going to be wary, and they're still not gonna be as trusting. And he's gotta be willing to work with that, with whatever it is that they are willing to give him.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. The redemption story. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna keep reading this one.
Marc Cuiriz:The this one is so I I was bingeing it, and so for me, I I got caught up in, like, a week, week and a half, it took me. Yeah. And, like, that was You
Lara Taylor:just like to catch up on things and binge things
Marc Cuiriz:I do like to catch up on things. That's what I do. It's just it's just so much fun.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. We both pile up and they come come
Marc Cuiriz:Exactly. And then when and then you wait too long and then you forget, then you have to go all the way back and reread it all again. And you're like, man, this is so great. Yeah. Why did I stop reading?
Josué Cardona:K. Yeah. No. This this is this sounds good. And then so so as the story continues, like, that's really the seems to be the, like, the heart of the of the story is this kind of path, like, this redemption path.
Marc Cuiriz:His story is more is that's the heart of his story, but there's there's multiple different stories that go on. And those stories, the beginnings of them get sprinkled in within, like, within, like,
Lara Taylor:the first, like, 20 20 chapters.
Josué Cardona:Okay.
Marc Cuiriz:So you'll start kinda seeing that as you read a little bit more of it, like, where the different story lines are starting to branch off into. Okay.
Josué Cardona:Well, I like this. I think I think it's, like, relatable from from the sense of, well, even just like him being forced to, like, relive these these past events is like intrusive thoughts or just like obsessing over over things that you've done before. Sounds like he's he's feeling guilty afterwards and and is definitely trying to make a change and, like, that long path of, trying to change and be better.
Marc Cuiriz:Yeah. And that's another thing too of, like, the the classes that he had to go through. That's not him, like, just talking it out. Like, that's the detective's ability is memory recall. So, like, he literally is, like, against his will forcing him to relive it. So that's you know, for some people, that's, like, someone constantly throwing your actions or your trauma back in your face, forcing you to kinda have to relive that or being in a situation where you're constantly getting retriggered and reexperiencing all those events over and over again. Like
Josué Cardona:Yeah. Yeah.
Marc Cuiriz:And, like, the damage that does to a person to the point where he got so scared that he wanted to pretend like he didn't have an ability and just wanted to go through life like that because to him, that was easier than Yeah. Owning up to his actions.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. Yeah. No. Like, again, having those intrusive thoughts or obsessing about stuff that you've done in the past and feeling guilty, that's a thing. That's a that's a serious thing.
Lara Taylor:And even in our, like, not powered world, like, somebody will think of a bad thing they've done, and then it their brain goes to every single bad thing they've ever done in their life.
Josué Cardona:It can happen. Yeah. Yeah. Mhmm. Yeah. Sometimes they're just like one big thing, and you just can't get over. You can't get past that. You think it defines you as a person and Mhmm. Like, that whole idea of, like, I'm gonna I'm I'm so afraid that I'll do that again, that I'm going to shut down, not be my authentic self. Right. There's like different versions of that where like, this shit always gets me in trouble. So I'm going to, I'm gonna pretend to be this, or I'm gonna act this way. So Mhmm. You know, super relatable story.
Marc Cuiriz:Yeah. Or some people get so ingrained, like, the that those experiences or those actions are so ingrained into who they are that the idea of trying to move on past them is is just terrifying because, like you said, like, that becomes who you are. And if they try to move on or move past that, then it's like, well, then who the heck am I?
Josué Cardona:Yeah. No. That's a good point. Right? The the other version of it being like, well, I don't like this, but I'm gonna keep doing it because that's who I am. Mhmm. It's like, no. You don't have to.
Lara Taylor:You can do different things. Yeah.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. Yeah. Alright. So what about the other story?
Marc Cuiriz:So the other story, this one's more of, like, a nice
Josué Cardona:That was unordinary. Now this is down to earth.
Marc Cuiriz:Down to earth, and this one is a lot more of a of a lighthearted nature one, more romcom y. It's just cute, and I love it. Basically, alien crash lands on Earth. Dude finds her in his backyard, apartment backyard, whatever, and he tries to teach her how to live amongst earthlings. But in this particular case, the the moving on piece that I wanted to touch on was, moving on from a past relationship and kinda dealing with that of, like, you know, maybe a relation like, a toxic relationship that ended in a way that wasn't satisfactory or just kind of losing someone that you really cared about and you weren't quite ready to let that go, and you're now you're still not quite ready to move on from it. Because that's kinda like the big thing with the main character is that he had this previous relationship, and it's kind of and when it ends, it it, like, really messed with him, you know, mentally, emotionally. So he kind of, like, is more closed off. He doesn't really like, he's more introverted. And then when he meets the the alien and, like, you know, he's, like, trying to help her out and he agrees to let her stay with him, he sets these ground rules, and he says, like, rule number 3 is extremely important, which is, like, no no developing feelings. Like, this is I'm going to help you. I'm going to teach you the ways of of an earthling and and how to read, write, speak, all that other stuff. But, like, this is purely like a platonic relationship. There are going to be no feelings involved in this, like, because feelings to him are scary. And as the story goes on, you know, you see them grow closer, but then you also kind of see him struggling with his own thoughts because he's not quite ready to move on even though he wants to. Like, he can see that he wants to move on. He doesn't want to be stuck on this relationship that he had, but he's having a hard time doing that. Like, he he really can't. And as far as I'm concerned, up until, like, the the most current episode, he's not quite there, but he's made he's made substantial progress. But he's aware of it, at least.
Josué Cardona:Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I've been there too.
Marc Cuiriz:Mhmm. Oh, yeah. A 100%. So, like
Lara Taylor:Marc bringing the relatable content tonight.
Josué Cardona:Mhmm.
Marc Cuiriz:That's what I do, but this isn't but unlike other episodes, this isn't my therapy session. This is just straight up relatable content. And and
Lara Taylor:Josué, we gotta turn it into Marc's therapy session now.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. It's still early. We're only, like, 20 minutes in.
Marc Cuiriz:Listen, guys. We're not doing that. No. I refuse. But I I like this story in in how it touches on that idea of of moving on because when it comes to, like, that idea of, like, oh, just move on from your ex girlfriend, like, you just gotta go out there. You just gotta see the world. And, you know, you see again, this is one of those things where you see it in me in other shows, movies where they're like, no. You just gotta go outside and take a look at the world around you, and then, you know, they meet somebody magical, and then it's like, oh, wow. And then
Lara Taylor:What shows are you watching? I watch shows where people are pining over people for seasons.
Josué Cardona:No. I only watch shows where they, like, they meet somebody new, and then they're fixed. It's it's all it's all good.
Marc Cuiriz:Exactly. You know? Or, like, you I I don't know. Like, I I've I've just, like, seen those sorts of things before where that happens, where, like, people are like, oh, you know, they're moping around. It's like, no. Just get outside. And then they get outside, and they're like, wow. This is I didn't know the world was like this. And then they start all of a sudden, they're better. Yeah. Don't ask me a name of show off the top of my head because I can't right now.
Josué Cardona:There's there's so many. There's so many like that.
Lara Taylor:there's so many.
Marc Cuiriz:There's so many that I'm sure if you googled it, you'd find some. You'd find some brilliant examples. God, I wish Link was here. Link would know . But here, it it really touches on that, like, how hard that can be, you know, especially if it was a relationship that you weren't quite ready to have end, but it it had to end for for various reasons. Or if the relationship was unhealthy and toxic, whether, on both parties' ends or on one person's end, like, that that messes with you, and that impacts how you interact and engage with other people and how you socialize if it's if it gets to that extent. And so to see the the growth of this character and him gain that awareness of, like, yo. Like, I'm I'm thinking too much about this person, and I want to develop these other friendships and relationships, but I also don't feel quite ready yet because I'm still ruminating. I still have all these pictures that we took. It's all in a box in my closet. And then when he tries to get rid of it, almost immediately backtracks and and tries to save whatever, you know, whatever he tried to get rid of. You know? It it's like showing that, like, while there can be, like you know, it's one of those things, again, like I said, where it's a it's a process. It's it's a slow burn, but when you're motivated or you're you know, you want to create those changes, like, it's showing, like, how to start making those changes in a in a healthy way as opposed to more unhealthy behaviors.
Josué Cardona:I haven't seen this movie in a long time, but eternal sunshine of, sunshine of a spotless mind is about, you know, someone goes through a breakup and it's the same thing. It's like he's obsessed. He can't stop thinking about her. It hurts too much. So he goes to a doctor who can remove all memories of this person from from his head. And I always thought of like that. Yeah. That would be great. That that would be the easiest way to go. But it is it isn't that easy. It can take a long time. I remember when I, I was in a long term relationship, we broke up and I remember, like, I was looking for a fix. I was like, I was like, what? What piece of media can help me get through this? Or like, what is the thing that I have to do that'll that'll help me? It took me a long time to even just find, like, a song that was helpful, because it kinda, like, had the words like, it helped describe how I was feeling. So that was, like, very helpful. But most story like, most breakup movies and breakup songs and terrible. They were not helpful at all. They were they made it worse.
Lara Taylor:I haven't brought this up in a long time on the show, but I do remember a breakup. I can't I don't even know. It was over a decade ago. But, I am
Josué Cardona:Only one decade?
Lara Taylor:Only one. More than one less than 2. But I think I'm a muse I like music. Music helps me feel things. We've talked about this on the show, but, like, I remember this breakup. It was the one where I got in the car and I couldn't listen to happy music because it made me pissed off, and I couldn't listen to sad music because it made me more sad. So I just started listening to talk radio.
Josué Cardona:Yep. Yep. Yep.
Lara Taylor:Yeah. And that one took a while to get over, but and I don't even know how to tell anyone how to get over it or how I did. It just over time, it happened.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Lara Taylor:That was the talk radio that that fixed it.
Marc Cuiriz:Yeah. That's what
Josué Cardona:NPR
Marc Cuiriz:you got in your head, you were like, you know what? Podcasting. That's it.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. Yep.
Marc Cuiriz:Yep. And now here we are.
Josué Cardona:Yep. That's why we're here.
Marc Cuiriz:No. I think, for me with, one of my breakups, I I was the same way where I if I tried listening or watching anything happy, couldn't do it. Couldn't couldn't really focus on it. Didn't really like it. Listen to anything sad? No. It it it was just awful. Couldn't get out of bed for days. I I think what what I found that kinda helped me work through those those particularly difficult times was either reading something relatable or, or hearing it, like, like just listening to, like, spoken, like, poetry or listening to or hearing a poem or, like, a short story or something like that, that really kind of got the message across of, like, the the pain and the hurt that I was feeling. And I felt like that to be very cathartic for me and kind of and letting myself feel what I was always trying to, like, not feel. And then, like Yeah. Yeah. It became one of those things where over time, I started working on myself and started taking a look at trying to reexamine my life and what were things that I was into, what were my hobbies, what were things that I enjoyed doing because I oftentimes gave that stuff up for the sake of the partner. And, you know, with that kind of rediscovery of who I am who I was, that's when it got easier to to to move on from it and, you know, live my life.
Josué Cardona:Yeah.
Lara Taylor:That that's interesting that reading versus, like, watching or or listening to music was easier for you. This story is, like, close to 2 decades old. A friend of mine went through a breakup, and the next week started reading, New Moon. And she was she immediately texted me and was like why didn't you tell me this is a breakup story? This is ruining my week. She was in tears on the phone with me. We have good laughs about that now. But, yeah, sometimes those stories are are nice and relatable, and sometimes they make you feel the feelings even harder.
Josué Cardona:I know. I remember, La La Land, like, destroyed me. It was one of those movies that, like, oh, like, I didn't see it coming.
Lara Taylor:Mhmm.
Josué Cardona:You go in. But this is funny. My, when you said it, it was like people getting over or like moving on, moving on. Right. I've been missing my mom a lot lately who died earlier this year. And so my mind was like, oh, like when I read the thing about the father, I was like, oh, his father died. That's what he's getting over. And even even in down to earth, I was like, oh, he lost him. Like, I don't know why that that that's what I was thinking that they were,
Lara Taylor:Little projection there, Josué?
Josué Cardona:Absolutely. Moving on from but I was talking to my little sister, recently, and she was watching a movie on Netflix. I don't remember the name, but it was a it was a rom com. So she she's, you know, she's watching the rom com. And then there was something about, a mom that was sick and like, was like very something very, very similar to what we went through earlier this year. And she called me. She was just, like, bawling. She's like, how did that's not what I wanted. That's not what I was looking for.
Lara Taylor:Mhmm. Mhmm. Well and there's, like, there's ways to look for, like, triggering things in media. You can always go to, like, does the dog die or whatever, but it doesn't necessarily cover everything. Like, there was a time I don't even remember exactly what the movie was, but a past girlfriend of mine and I went to go see a movie in the park, and they were playing it. And it was really great. And something was it wouldn't wasn't something that would be on a list, but it was something that, like, reminded her of a past traumatic incident, and she flipped out at the movie, and we had to leave. And I've had years ago, I had a client who was like, please don't tell give me any movie suggestions or book suggestions where the dad is sick or gonna die because and people then had to if they were giving movie suggestions, like, wrack their brain because if there's anything, even a mention of it would set this person off. So Yeah. Understandably.
Josué Cardona:There's a there's a big difference, right, between being triggered and getting that catharsis, like like Marc mentioned before.
Lara Taylor:Absolutely.
Josué Cardona:Mhmm. And but yeah. But it is hard to find. Right? Like, even I mean, we've tried with the library and stuff like that, but, like, it's it's so hard to find something that, like, has a similar story to you.
Lara Taylor:There's a big difference, but also a fine line because sometimes you don't know until you watch something whether that's going to be catharsis or it's going to be devastating.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. Yeah. Seriously. What was what was the thing that was cathartic, Marc? Did you mention what it was?
Marc Cuiriz:Not necessarily anything in particular. It was usually just kind of whatever I was reading at the time. Like, if it it was like a passage or it was like a, a poem or a short story that, like, really delved into the topic that, that I you know, whatever the thought was that day, that's where I kinda feel it. Or even for sometimes even for me, it was me writing my own stories or writing those things and feeling that catharsis through expressing it in a way that I felt was, appropriate for me at that time since talking wasn't really my strongest suit at that time.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. Didn't have podcasts to go to to act as your therapy?
Marc Cuiriz:Yeah. I didn't I didn't have a whole lot of people that are willing to listen to my my one man podcasts.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. I, again, after that breakup, like, there was one song that was, like, it it it it was exactly what I needed to hear, and it became kind of like an anthem. Because like you said, like, it allowed me to feel something that I think I was avoiding feeling or I was it was too hard to feel it, and that song allowed me to to feel it. How do you feel about it?
Lara Taylor:About you, but it was also about somebody else's story. Right?
Josué Cardona:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, like, the words, I was like, oh, those are the words that, like, describe how I'm feeling. Like, I didn't have them. I was like hearing hearing them said back to me. How do how do both of you feel about, like, watching a sad movie to feel sad? People do that.
Marc Cuiriz:I I don't think I've ever done that. I don't think I've ever watched a sad movie to be sad.
Lara Taylor:I watch sad movies knowing that they are sad and they're going to make me sad, but I I it's not because I wanna be sad. It's because I wanna watch the movie and see the story. Nina, however, not movies necessarily, but her way of processing breakups in the past and grief and all of that is to put on a good Tegan and Sara record and play it on repeat and listen to all the breakup songs, and cry and cry and cry and let it out. And then, apparently, she feels a lot better after. So
Josué Cardona:I, there's this new show on Apple TV. I think it's called shrinking is what it's called.
Lara Taylor:This has come up in conversation with friends, like, several times
Josué Cardona:Yeah. Yeah.
Lara Taylor:In the last month. Yeah.
Josué Cardona:Really? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's good. And, Harrison Ford, he's a he's a therapist, and he gives advice to someone of, like like he says basically that that, like, he just listens to a an incredibly sad song and just cries for, like, 10 minutes straight to to, like, feel the emotions that are, like, that you're carrying with you and are, like, hard to to feel. And so the yeah. There's this character. She'll do that. She'll just, like, listen to the record and just, like, bawl. And then immediately after, just get up and just, like, keep walking. It makes it like a practice.
Lara Taylor:I used to do that when I was when I was a teenager. I would listen to a lot of sad music probably to feel sad, not watch sad shows or anything, but music. Yeah. But there was a lot of sad music in the nineties. I mean, Oasis had sad song, which was a go to for me.
Josué Cardona:But like like, if you knew, right, there's something different about like, oh, I enjoy that song. I know it's kind of a sad story versus if I listen to that right now, it's going to destroy me and then you hit play anyway. Right? Like, that's that's the thing that I I I've always found interesting when people say that it's like, oh, I'm gonna go watch a movie that's gonna make me cry. It's like, did you why do you wanna do that right now?
Lara Taylor:Mhmm. It's like the opposite of, like, Grey's Anatomy. One of the big things earlier in earlier seasons was, like, dancing it out and putting music on. And when you're stressed or sad or whatever, they they would just get together and start dancing out the music dancing out the problems, very different experience, than that. Yeah.
Josué Cardona:Yeah.
Lara Taylor:Yeah. Way to go with getting feelings out musically.
Josué Cardona:Look, I'm I'm having a tough time right now, so I have a whole bunch of comedies queued up because, like, I wanna laugh. I wanna feel the opposite of how I'm feeling regularly. And yeah.
Marc Cuiriz:Yeah. I think for me, if especially if I'm going through, like, a tough time or, like, I'm I'm also kinda struggling, I just go I just go in even deeper. And I go to the I sometimes will go to an extreme with it in terms of, like, my writing. I don't do so much creative writing anymore, but when I was early on in my undergrad, like, for one of my English classes, he wanted our projects to focus more on, like, our creative outlets. So we had, like, 4 big things that we needed to to turn in throughout the semester, and they could have been anything, about anything, whatever the case. They just had to be 4 different styles of writing. So for me, my first one was, like, a short story. My second one was, like, in the form of a letter. My third one was, like, a like, a self help style kind of writing, and the 4th one was, like, an audio journal. So it was like, this is where my taste for podcast came in, because I did I I recorded it, and I was, like, editing it to make it sound like it was like an old tape recorder. But in the second and the fourth story, those were ones where I really leaned into my my emotions at that current state. So the second one was like a a love story. And this is when, you know, my wife and I, we were just starting to to date kinda get together. And so, like, I, like, really dove deep into it and and kinda, like, let that like, you could feel it when you read it. And then the the 4th one, the audio one, that was me sort of reflecting back on my previous relationship and how that relationship made me feel. And that one also went to an extreme, but that one was a lot more depressing. But, like, to me, that that was for me, that was a way to kind of work through what I was feeling by just going into it, but also making it a story. So it wasn't me. It was somebody else, but they're experiencing what I was feeling or what I was thinking or what I was going through at that time and exaggerated to to some degree because, you know, it's a story. Gotta add some more flare or drama to it. But that's how I worked through that. And for me, it was if I'm feeling something, I I I dial it to an 11, and I just go in.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. And that's helpful for you?
Marc Cuiriz:Yes.
Josué Cardona:Doesn't mess you up at all. Not even
Marc Cuiriz:I mean, maybe it does, but as of right now, I think I'm okay. Yeah. But that's that's my opinion. So I mean
Josué Cardona:Yeah. I mean, once you're ready to do that, like, I think I think that's healthy. Right? To, obviously, explore what you're thinking and what you're feeling. Mhmm. Can't force people to do that when they're not ready. It's hard. Like, they may they you know, if there's still resistance to that, it's it it probably won't work.
Marc Cuiriz:Yeah. And I think for me, it was one of those things where, at the time, I felt like I was ready because if I had especially with that 4th one, just with kind of how dark I made it, I feel like if I wasn't in the right headspace, it it that would have raised some alarms. But when I did make it, I was in a much more sound headspace. I I had, you know, I started therapy, and I was already working through, you know, kind of everything that was going on for me. I was processing through it. And so to me, this felt like an appropriate expression of, hey. This is this is an equivalent of what I was feeling and what I was going through. Like, you can so to me, it still felt authentic Yeah. Even though, you know, obviously, I made changes to it. But to me, I still felt like my authentic feelings were in there, and I felt like that could be heard in that. Or in the other writings, you can see, like, you can see the emotions that I was feeling in the moment of writing it.
Lara Taylor:See, Marc likes to dial things up to an 11 for himself. I like to read a story, a narrative about somebody else who's at an 11 or a 12. Right? I wanna I wanna have it, like, oh, at least I don't have that problem at and kind of have that comparison for myself. You know what? It puts things into perspective. You know, I'm not in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. I'm not dealing with bleeding out from a wound that my that my ex gave me in in a, like, opposite of a enemies to lovers story. You know, I want I want I want the tragic stories with a tragic stories with a happy ending, but I wanna I wanna be immersed in a story that makes me feel like, okay. Well, I if I if they can make it through that, I can make it through this.
Josué Cardona:Alright. So That's a good framing. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Like, for me, that often doesn't work because, like, I get caught up in how it could be worse, but instead but that doesn't mean like, I think a healthier way to look at it is, one, which the way that you said it, which is like, if they can do it, I can do it too. So it's like motivation or, you know, like, am I doing better than I was the day before? Like, who cares how I compare it to other people, you know? But am I making progress? Because sometimes we get we get
Lara Taylor:Mhmm.
Josué Cardona:We get complacent because we're like, well, it could be worse. She broke my heart. At least she's gonna, like, you know, stab me. Mhmm.
Marc Cuiriz:Take all my things.
Josué Cardona:You're still hurting.
Lara Taylor:You're still allowed to hurt. And then Mhmm. It's interesting because I talk to clients about that exact kind of thing all the time where it's about balance. It it's okay. Like, I don't know. I use I tell people escapism is a dirty word. It's okay to get lost in your show for
Josué Cardona:Good to take a break.
Lara Taylor:It's good to take a break. Yeah. You get to watch a couple episodes of a show. Sure. You get broken up with you wanna binge a show, spend the whole day binging the show. But if you do that the next day and then the next day, that might be a problem. So it's okay to do things to take a break. It's okay to it's about finding that balance because too much of anything is gonna be a problem. Just like too much of, like, well, could be worse and kind of ignoring the problem can be bad. But the the concept of, like, well, if they can make it through it, I can make it through this. You know? Yeah. That's different from just, like, well, could be worse.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. And and, like, what you're talking about is is also, like, avoidance versus right? It's like, you just want it to go away. So if you ignore it, it'll it'll it's not gonna be a problem
Lara Taylor:Mhmm.
Josué Cardona:Versus, actually having having to to face it and feel it.
Lara Taylor:Yeah.
Marc Cuiriz:You know, I was just kinda thinking. I was like, You know, this this could work out perfectly because, Lara, if if you're feeling something, then all you gotta do is wait for me to feel that way. I'll write the story for you to read, and there you go. We both Perfect.
Lara Taylor:I just gotta sit in pain for as long as it takes Marc to feel the same thing that I'm feeling.
Marc Cuiriz:Chances are, I probably have already felt it. So all you gotta do is just is just tap into it, and then boom. There you go. I got a nice short story for you.
Josué Cardona:You've had all the feelings already?
Marc Cuiriz:It's possible. Maybe I haven't. I don't know. I'm not I'm not 40 yet, so there could be some untapped emotions there.
Lara Taylor:I mean yeah. Yeah. Although, they probably I mean, untapped emotions, mostly the same, but just that they're older.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. This is this is cool. This is a good conversation.
Lara Taylor:Yeah. I didn't know where this was gonna go, but it was really good.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. No. Those two stories are are sound again, I'm definitely gonna read. I I liked what I read on both of them, so I think I'm gonna I'm invested now.
Marc Cuiriz:Yes. I I once you get more into it, I I would definitely love to kinda talk to you more about Yeah. Especially unordinary Mhmm. Just because of how, like, how dark it does get and how, like, deep it does get with it, before it kinda starts, you know, picking up
Josué Cardona:Yeah.
Marc Cuiriz:Emotion wise.
Josué Cardona:And I'm I'm I'm I'm opening up to feeling my feelings more, than I have in the past. I mean, even in preparation for this, I was watching a show on Netflix where in the first episode, the main character's mom died and I stopped watching immediately. So if today I was like, oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna watch a couple. I'm gonna keep watching the show. Like, just to to kinda confront that and stop avoiding. Mhmm. So yeah. I think I think it might be helpful to see this guy going through this stuff. Sounds good to me.
Marc Cuiriz:Yeah.
Josué Cardona:I tried. Yeah.
Marc Cuiriz:Yeah. I think these stories, especially if you're it's something that you're kinda, like, dealing with or kind of trying to to navigate yourself, whether it's a relationship or, you know, past experiences, traumatic or even on even just unpleasant experiences and difficulty kind of letting go of that old sense of self or, you know, that more troubled states. I think these stories do a pretty good job of kind of exploring that realm of things. And, you know, and like you said, like, it kinda can help with, you know, facing those things and and kinda start to think about them and and eventually, you know, work through it if it you know, whenever they're ready.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. And I like that that it's a process. Right? Like, these stories are are going through a process. It's not just they're still ongoing.
Lara Taylor:Mhmm.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. Yeah. Again, there's so many stories. We can't remember any other names, but where are people you know? Like, they very quickly get over whatever.
Lara Taylor:Listen. I wanna bring up, Avatar the Last Airbender. I'm gonna bring up Zuko and his redemption story on how yeah. It took him a while. It took him it took him a while to get to that redemption arc. I'm just saying.
Josué Cardona:K.
Marc Cuiriz:K. See, I thought about bringing up Avatar, and, again, like, it's one of yeah. Like you said, it for Zuko is, like, his whole redemption arc. Like, that that's a whole thing. Like, it it is a process, but even so, the way it it kind of worked, it it just felt like it was one of those rushed things. And again, like, it's a cartoon, so they kind of have to make it, you know, a little bit more quick than, you know, what it would actually be like. But, you know, that's a that's a good example of, like, how it it is a process, but in that case, it it almost seemed a little too streamlined. Like, he's like, oh, yeah. I'm all of a sudden I'm good. I'm no longer struggling with the the bad parts or the things that I did do wrong. Like, I came to terms with it.
Lara Taylor:He was still struggling even up to the end.
Marc Cuiriz:Well, I I'd argue against that because once he decided to join team Avatar and
Lara Taylor:he And they struggled with him.
Marc Cuiriz:Yes. Mhmm. But even then, like, he was he was trying to do good, but he wasn't, like, ready to, like, turn on them or he wasn't, like, letting loose or anything like that. When he was on his own, yeah, there were some moments like that. But once he joined team Avatar, it was like, I'm a 100% a good guy now, and I'm gonna do my best to help all of you guys. So he then goes out of his way, like, okay. I'm gonna show you that I I've changed. I'm gonna help you on this. But, like, he's calm, collected. He's not struggling with that sense of identity of, like, you know, of becoming, you know, this egg like, this exiled prince or banished prince or whatever. Like, he's alright. Yep. All that stuff's gone. All that all that trauma of of dealing with my sister and my dad. Nope. We're good. I'm past it now. I'm a good guy. But, again, it's a cartoon show. So, like, for what it is, it it does a good job of it. But, like, these
Lara Taylor:But he spends, like, 2 whole seasons.
Marc Cuiriz:Exactly. So, like, that shows the process, but, like, even then, it still kind of, like, simplifies it to an extent to an extent. Whereas these ones, they
Lara Taylor:Mhmm.
Marc Cuiriz:Take because they have that time and that, you know, the ability to actually show you, like, when they make a mistake or when they slip up and the repercussions of slipping up, but also, you know, still doing what doing what they feel is is best to kind of move forward with it and and dealing with that and accepting that for and accepting their past actions, things like that.
Lara Taylor:Mhmm. Yeah.
Josué Cardona:Kinda said both things there, Marc. Like, he did it. He didn't. This thing.
Marc Cuiriz:This is why I didn't wanna bring it up. This is why I didn't wanna this is why I didn't bring up Avatar because I I it's it's it is a show where it does it, but it also doesn't do it.
Lara Taylor:Mhmm.
Josué Cardona:It's hard. It's hard. In real life, it's hard. It can it can it doesn't necessarily have to like, what does it look like? What does moving on even really mean? Right? Like, you can still be sad. You can still be upset. Doesn't mean that you haven't moved on. Right? It's like it can it can stop affecting certain parts of your life, but can still be something that you feel, something that comes up every now and then, just not as consistent. So, like, I don't think that there's, like, a line. Right, that you cross. It's like, yay. I'm good now. I've officially moved on. It's done.
Lara Taylor:Nope. Up and down and up and down and
Josué Cardona:And it'll creep up on you when you don't expect it.
Lara Taylor:Mhmm. Sometimes perfectly happy with somebody else for years, or you've moved on from whatever you've done for years, and then something happens. Oh, I haven't thought about that in a long time, and I feel like shit.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. Yeah.
Lara Taylor:And then hopefully it goes away.
Josué Cardona:Yep.
Lara Taylor:And then you move on again.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. Well, this is this is good. Any other examples? Anybody wanna bring up?
Marc Cuiriz:I got nothing right now.
Josué Cardona:Oh, nothing? Okay.
Lara Taylor:There are so many so many shows, so many things for both sides that we cannot think of the names of it all. But I do wanna say I brought up the topic tonight with Nina, and she's her first thing was Batman, and I'm like, Batman never gets over it. He never moves on. That's the point of Batman. So there's an example of not that story.
Josué Cardona:I'm not gonna have this argument. I'm not gonna go into I'm not gonna debate this.
Lara Taylor:I'm not saying I'm not I'm not saying I'm not saying it's not post traumatic growth, but I'm saying he never gets over it.
Josué Cardona:Depends on which version of the story.
Lara Taylor:Especially since he's constantly getting traumatized again and again.
Marc Cuiriz:Looks like I'm
Josué Cardona:gonna hold my I'm gonna I'm gonna hold that. I'm not gonna engage in this conversation.
Marc Cuiriz:This almost seems like another episode right here.
Lara Taylor:Oh, it's been episodes.
Marc Cuiriz:Yeah. Oh, I'm aware.
Josué Cardona:Yeah. Well, yeah, some of the ones I I thought of, I think I mentioned already, for La La Land and, Eternal Sunshine. Mhmm. Those are definitely some of the ones that came to mind. And, yeah, I think and I again, I think this could go into, like there's a difference between, like, a redemption arc versus, like, moving on from something sad or traumatic or an event.
Josué Cardona:There's this could go in a whole bunch of different directions. This is good. I'm I'm glad you brought up these these stories, Marc.
Lara Taylor:Yeah.
Marc Cuiriz:Thanks, guys.
Josué Cardona:Any closing thoughts, Marc?
Marc Cuiriz:I'm just happy this didn't turn into my therapy session.
Josué Cardona:Okay.
Lara Taylor:One time, Marc brings the the topic, and it's not his therapy session.
Josué Cardona:Maybe when he's listening to it again as he's editing in the episode.
Lara Taylor:And then he's gonna start writing about it.
Josué Cardona:Yep. And do an audio journal. Here you go.
Marc Cuiriz:Yeah. Yep.
Josué Cardona:Lara, any closing thoughts?
Lara Taylor:Process your stuff.
Josué Cardona:Process your stuff. Yep. Mhmm. I will echo that, processing your stuff is hard and it takes time.
Lara Taylor:Mhmm. Mhmm. However long it takes you.
Josué Cardona:However long it takes you. It may never the process may never end completely. It's okay. Let us know if you think that Zuko moved on or not or any other reactions to, our conversation here, and our different community spaces, which you can find the links to in our show notes. For more geek therapy, visit geektherapy.org. Remember to geek out and do good, and we'll be back next week.
Marc Cuiriz:mmBye.
Josué Cardona:Geek Therapy is a 501c3 nonprofit organization dedicated to making the world a better place through geek culture. To learn more about our mission and become a supporter, visit geektherapy.org.
